Desire, a powerful emotion that can take a person places where they least expect. It’s a destination that was never reached by my own hand. I left the wants behind and focus more on the needs. When the line between wants and needs became blurred so did the goal. What happens when the goal is unattainable? What if the elements are beyond the control of one person, but the creation of the obstacle was caused by man/women?
I’ve pondered the unattainable, it led me down different roads. Some were dead ends, others were dead ends with accomplished tasks. I made a promise to myself a little over 12 years ago, about the war on terrorism. My commitment was the desire, when the war ends, I will walk away and continue my life with my family. Great plan? So I thought. I managed, with the help of my brothers and sisters to walk away after 4 deployments, that’s close to 4 years. The plan changed, manifesting new goals in my life. There was a joke going around where I should’ve bought land overseas since my time over there was lengthy. I laugh about it when it crosses my mind at times, depending on the darkness that hovers over my heart. A split between the dark and light, they battle with each other at times, and one consumes the other.
These are obstacles that I was born into, a world with a fine line, a separation between people, that go beyond the color of our blood. Unacceptable! We are capable in accomplishing anything, but acceptance of people, that’s unheard of, Why? I love the cultural traditions other ethnicities bring to our country. I never had Chai until I went overseas, I loved it, once I got past the water issue. Questions arise everyday for me, sometimes in an overload fashion. It’s a bucket of cold water in a sound slumber.
I will follow-up, ongoing piece.